just THROW IT AWAY

It is so funny to me how often God speaks to me through interactions with my kids! Alana, my 20 month old has gotten really good at taking things to the garbage. We'll hand her a diaper we just changed from her or her brother and say: "Alana, go throw that away in the garbage", and she will. It is so cute to watch her little body as she toddles toward the garbage and hear the lid open and close as she makes a deposit, and see her wobble back.

Last night I was feeding her some apple, and as I was cutting off a piece, it fell on the floor. She already had a small piece in her hand, and so I picked up the fallen one and gave it to her as well and repeated the customary command "throw that away in the garbage". I figured that since she already had a good piece in her hand, she would take the piece that might seem perfectly good to her and obey us. She took it from me as normal and headed toward the garbage, but I didn't hear the lid, or see her coming back and so I peeked my head around the corner. I couldn't help but laugh as I saw her stuffing the dirty piece in her mouth as she stood in front of the garbage, she just couldn't let it go. I whispered to my hubby, "look honey, she's chewing on the piece I told her to throw away, that's so gross". And the thing that was crazy was that there I was sitting waiting to give her another clean piece if she would just come back, but she didn't understand. Keith immediately called to her "Alana, that's dirty throw it away". But it was too late, she had already shoved it into her mouth and was happily chewing it.

Then it hit me, you know, we are just like that with God sometimes. We will see something we want but He will tell us to let it go and throw it away. But we will want it so much that we don't trust Him enough to fully obey. We'll pick that dirty thing up off the floor and go and stand in front of the garbage like we're going to but we aren't able to resist as we take it for ourselves. And all the while He's waiting to give us the good clean thing that He has for us.

Well, I know for myself that I definitely want God's best and want to trust Him to give it to me in His time! I think it would be a lot better for all of us if we were willing to let go of the things God says to let go of and just throw them away, because He ALWAYS has better things for us. Jeremiah 29:11 says: "For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future".

I'm glad I can trust that God's plans for me are way BETTER than what needs to be thrown in the garbage!

Dishes, clothes and the seeds I sow

Last night I was listening to a cd series by the Copeland women called "Becoming a Woman of God". One in particular stood out to me from Marty Copeland. She was speaking of progressive change and how she was able to recognize and allow God to heal her in the area of her eating habits. She said that she left a portion of her food on her plate and would say to the Lord, "God, I am sowing this offering of food to you, and am expecting to reap a harvest of self control".

Man alive did that challenge me! Not just in the area of self control or eating, but in all the areas of my life!

So this morning as I was tending to our ever growing mound of clothes (both dirty and clean), I remembered what Marty had said and decided at that moment that I wanted to begin to reap better harvests. I started to think about farmers and how they very intentionally sow their seeds and prepare for the harvest. They EXPECT to receive something from what they have sown and don't randomly throw seed here and there. Everything in this life is sowing and reaping and I think my eyes were opened a bit more to that fact.

So as I was throwing clothes into the dryer, I said "Lord, I am sowing this to you as an act of faith, and I am believing that I will receive in return more faithfulness and discipline in the area of my housework" because you see, I really, really really want to be a better Mother and Wife- but more specifically, a better housewife!

I am truly tired of being embarrassed when people come over because my house isn't exactly as I would like it- and that as they step across our welcome mat- I'm wiping sweat from my brow and trying to catch my breath from the mad dash of having run around the house to clean as best I can. I hate that I close the door to my room (and really want to lock it) and hope that our guests won't get a glimpse in of the Armageddon that has become our chambers- I'm tired of being behind on everything, losing important things but knowing they are somewhere in that hay stack but not having the time to find them. I am tired of always being late for EVERYTHING!

(Keith and I were recently late for a funeral for some dear friends of ours who had lost their young daughter, we walked in while the slide show and music were playing to the practically standing room only area, and had to shuffle past all the weeping people to find a seat. At the end of the funeral, the mother came up to me and asked why we didn't come up as a family to view the body, and before I could answer she said "you were late huh? Well I thought so, but I wouldn't expect any less from you :) She said it with a wry smile and we both laughed about it- but I felt terrible)

All of this to say- I have decided to follow Jesus, no turning back, no turning back- and As I follow Him, I believe that He is making me look more like him. I am believing that He will honor me and indeed help me produce in my life the faithfulness and discipline I need to be the Wife and Mother He's called me to be!

My very first (still wet behind the ears) post

Wow- This is kinda exciting! I never realized that I, me, lil ole Jen Brown could be a blogger. Maybe I thought you had to be chosen or something. And here I am in the weeeee hours of the morning surfing the web, looking for how I can be a better mom and wife, and good golly it looks like I just stumbled onto being able to create my own blog- yippee. Well that is if anyone wants to read ;)
Hopefully I can get the hang of this pretty quickly- but for now, my eyes and body need a rest- toodles and tiddleywinks-